


Stay so I feel safe?

by Amyk89



Category: Megamind (2010)
Genre: Bernard gets kidnapped, Bernard isn’t very sarcastic around Minion, F/M, M/M, Minion stays with Bernard, Roxanne and Megamind are married
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-11-22
Updated: 2020-12-26
Packaged: 2021-03-10 02:55:02
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 13,696
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27656465
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Amyk89/pseuds/Amyk89
Summary: Bernard gets kidnapped by a villain. He thinks all is lost until Megamind, Roxanne and Minion save him.Minion takes him home, but he needs to keeps this professional, and ignore Bernard’s cute smile and endearing laugh. He just needs to make sure Bernard’s safe, then go back to the lair, he can do this. It’s just one night. Right?
Relationships: Bernard/Minion (Megamind), Megamind/Roxanne Ritchi
Comments: 12
Kudos: 5





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hi. So I can’t get Minion and Bernard out of my head, so I made another story. A little warning, with all my fan fics, and in real life, I can’t help but use the swear words. Also if Bernard doesn’t seem like how he’s portrayed in the movie, that’s because he’s having a traumatic experience, being kidnapped. And Minion makes him happy, not so sarcastic and expressionless. If you do read it all, thanks for reading. Have a nice day.

Bernard’s chest beat fast. He needs to get out of here. He has to go. This can’t be how it ends. 

The villain did another one of her annoying laughs. If somehow, he survives this, he’ll never forget her horrendous laugh. 

Oh great, she’s looking him up and down now. “So, do you have a name to go with that pretty face?”  
“B-B-Bernard”  
“Hmm. I think I’ll call you cutie instead”

He’s never seen this villain before. She’s wearing a dark green dress with black, suede heels. Her lips are a dark red. She has a huge diamond ring on her middle finger, and a long necklace with a diamond lightening bolt on it. The villain has shown that her superpowers are lightening bolts, by striking Bernard’s phone. Lightening bolts! That was fucking scary! Seriously. One minute, he was walking to work. He was deep in his own world, complaining about another day of work in his head, when something felt off. He looked around, and noticed no one was there. Usually this street is packed with annoying people, who always seem to get in his way. Next thing he knows, he’s on the ground, and some woman is standing on top of him with a taser. Realisation hits him. He’s been tasered. 

She took him to some abandoned warehouse. His ankles and arms are tied to a chair. He’s never been so scared in his life. He’s been kidnapped. Him. Bernard. How? He goes to work, then goes home. He doesn’t get kidnapped. He doesn’t involve himself in all of that drama.

And you know what is the cherry on top of all of this? Metro man is dead. So there’s no one to save him. As embarrassing as it’ll be, to be saved like a helpless damsel. Well he wants to... live. Yea he might not appreciate every day of his mundane life. And yea, some days it really is hard to get out of bed. But that’s his life! And he wants to live it. He wants to complain that the cafe near his house has made bad coffee again, but go back anyway, because the barista looks like he should be on the cover of a magazine. He wants to iron a new suit, and put it on while it’s still warm. He wants to be on his comfy couch, stuck into a series, even though he knows he should be in bed. Oh, his couch. He’d do anything to be on that right now. 

“So tell me good looking, do I look better in person?” The villain asked  
“Uhh.. I don’t know who you are?”  
Her face showed she’s upset. Oh good going, just anger the villain, why don’t you?  
“Um.. but I really don’t know many people, to be honest” he said in a rush.

Her voice is sweet as she says “oh honey. You can call me Madam Dazzle” she turned and paced back and forth “I’ve got to admit, I can see why Megamind wanted to use your face as his own.” She went up to him and put a hand to his cheek “it’s such a pretty face”

Bernard’s body prickled with goosebumps. He wants to scream ‘don’t touch me’ but the words won’t come out. 

“What.. what do you want with me?”  
The villain’s hand left his cheek and she threw her hair back and gave a laugh “can’t a girl have a little fun?”  
Fun? What does she mean by that?  
“Oh don’t you look cute when you’re confused” she said with a sweet voice. Too sweet. Disgustingly sweet.

“Please.. let me go” he knows it’s pointless, but he needs to try.  
“Oh don’t be like that. You only just got to the party”  
Bernard took a breath in, then out. Okay. He can do this. She hasn’t killed him yet. And she’s being nice? To him? Okay. Just breathe.

His heart is still racing. He still hasn’t calmed down. He needs a distraction. Monoluging. That’s it. That’s what Megamind would always do. Roxanne will trick him into telling her everything. It could buy him some time. For what? He doesn’t know. Metro man’s not coming. But fuck it. He needs to at least try something.

“So uh.. Madam Dazzle. That’s an interesting name”  
“Why thank you cutie”  
“H-Have you uh.. been doing this for a while?”  
She threw her head back and laughed “you really are something.”  
“Thanks” he said sarcastically.

“Hmm.. but you look better when you don’t talk” she said while grabbing duct tape and putting it around his mouth.  
“Isn’t that better? Oh silly me, you can’t answer” she said with a wicked laugh.

All of a sudden the wall to his right came down. Both the villain and him looked towards the fallen wall, but no one came through it. 

A loud laugh rang through the warehouse.  
“Well.. if it isn’t my old nemesis Madam Dazzle. Didn’t I throw you out of MY city?!”  
“Megamind! This isn’t your city! Show yourself”  
“Very well” the blue alien said, suddenly appearing right in front of her, making her jump.  
“Boo!” He said with a laugh. “You” he pointed towards her “are banished from Metrocity.”  
“Oh no I’m so scared. Metro Man couldn’t control me, you don’t stand a chance.”  
“Oh, I’ll give you something to be scared of.” Megamind said with a dark, and knowing look on his face. “Oh you two are so grouchy.” The villain complained.

“Maybe you just don’t know how to throw a party” Roxanne said, walking in through the hole in the wall. Madam Dazzle gave a face of surprise, then struck her with lightning. Bernard squeezes his eyes shut. No! But there’s no screaming. He opens his eyes to see Roxanne’s unharmed. 

“I mean there aren’t even any party decorations.” Roxanne said as brainbots came in, surrounding the place.  
“And I always say, what’s a party without fireworks” The reporter said with a smug look on her face. Megamind’s face beamed while looking at his partner.  
Suddenly the place erupted with loud noises, fireworks? Little bombs? Bernard’s not too sure. But Madam Dazzle is on the floor, so they’ve done something. “Madam Dazzle, have you met my wife?” Megamind asked the villain, with a proud look on his face. “Sorry I’m late my love” she said while walking up to him and giving him a kiss on his cheek. “A queen is never late” was the smitten alien’s response. 

A hand gripped his shoulder and Bernard jumped. A calm voice sounded in his ear.  
“Shh. It’s okay. It’s me, Minion. I’ll get you out of here”  
Minion loosened the ropes and picked Bernard up. 

All of a sudden, they were in a car.  
“Bernard? Are you okay? You fainted” came Minion’s worried voice.  
Bernard was going to respond when he realised he still has the duct tape on his mouth.  
“Okay, I’m going to get off. I’m not going to lie, it’s going to hurt. I would of taken it off while you were passed out, but I didn’t want you waking like that.” Minion’s mechanical hand is on the duct tape, lifting slightly.  
“Ready Bernard?” He nodded so the alien started to pull it slowly. Bernard groaned in pain. “Hey look at me. It’ll be over before you know it. Look into my eyes. Ready?” Minion asked. Bernard nodded, but he’s distracted. The empathy and compassion coming from this fish alien, it’s just so.. caring. No one ever talks to him like that. People are usually rude to him, bouncing back from his sarcastic responses. Minion looked into his eyes as he ripped off the duct tape. “Oww”  
“Sorry Bernard. It’s over now at least.”  
“That’s okay. Thank you Minion” he said, maybe for the first time ever, sincerely.  


“Do you feel like you’re going to be sick?”  
“Uhh I feel a little nauseous”  
Minion gave him a bag. “Breathe in and out. Are you hurt?”  
“No. Just. That was a lot. And I just thought I was going to- it was a lot. Thank you! Thank you so much for getting me out of there”

Minion gave him a surprised look “oh that’s okay. It was all three of us anyway.”  
“I really thought that was it. I mean her powers are lightening! How-how is Roxanne okay? When she was struck?”  
“Oh, Megamind gave us a shield that protects us from her powers. It only lasts an hour though, so we had to make sure we didn’t waste any time. Madam Dazzle is in prison now.  
“Really? How long was I out?” Bernard looked outside the car, and noticed they’re in front of his house.  
“40 minutes”  
“Oh sorry.”  
“That’s okay. How’s the nausea?”  
“A bit better. I actually feel a bit hungry”  
“Oh you should go in and eat something”

Bernard looked at his apartment complex, then turned and asked “Do you want to come up?”  
Minion smiled “Sure, at least I can make sure you eat, and are feeling better”

Minion put his wrist to his tank and talked into it “code- Bernard’s awake and okay”  
A voice came through “code- thanks for letting us know”  
“Code- you’re welcome”  
“That’s not how you-“ Bernard started before Minion cut him off “I know: I tried telling him.” For the first time that day Bernard laughed. They walked into his apartment.

Bernard took off his shoes and threw himself to his couch. He wanted to cry. He’s on his couch! He’s alive, and in his home. Minion’s watching him “Bernard.. are you okay?”  
Bernard nodded his head, as tears made their way down.  
“Shit. Shit. This is so embarrassing. It’s just- well I really thought I was going to- I thought that was the.. end.”  
Minion came and hesitatingly put his arms around him. Bernard surprised himself by hugging him, squeezing the mechanical suit.  
“It’s okay. You have no reason to be embarrassed. Let it out. You’ve had one hell of a day”  
.

They stayed like that until Bernard realised he’s been squeezing pretty tight and let go of Minion. Can he feel anything through the mechanical suit? It’s not exactly the right time to ask.  
“Why do you look confused?”  
“Why does everyone know my expressions today?” Usually he has a blank face, so no one knows what’s going through his mind. Apparently today he’s an open book!  
Minion gave a sheepish look “Oh. Uh. I don’t know.” He said shrugging his shoulders.  
Bernard gave a sigh “I was looking confused because I was wondering if you can feel anything through your suit?”  
“Oh. Yea I can. Megamind put a nerve system in. My gorilla suit is basically just like a human’s.” Minion said, in his usual perky voice.  
Just like a human’s? Does that mean? Bernard can feel his face heat up.  
“So food. What would you like to eat? My shout of course, since you, you know, saved my life and all”  
“It was nothing. But um.. maybe pizza?”

They ordered the pizza, then sat in silence.  
“So uh.. sorry about the whole accidentally putting you in a washing machine, then hitting you in the head” Minion said with a shy tone.  
“That’s okay. What’s been bugging me is why did you hit me in the head?”  
“Oh. That’s the forget me stick.” Minion said his perky tone. Then added “obviously didn’t work”  
Bernard gave a little laugh.  
“Water!” Minion said, getting up “you need water”  
Bernard followed him to the kitchen “you don’t have to-“  
“I don’t mind. I’m supposed to be looking after you. And I completely forgot”  
Bernard gave a little laugh, while Minion looked for the cups.  
“It’s over here” Bernard said while leaning over Minion to get to the cups.  
“Oh. T-Thanks Bernard.”  
That’s a little weird. Why does he seem so.. flustered? Bernard would be lying if he said he wasn’t intrigued by it. I mean how often do you have a fish alien in your home. Bernard’s kind of curious as to exactly how similar Minion’s suit is to a human’s? You can’t just ask about someone’s anatomy though. 

Bernard drank his water while looking at Minion. He put his hand on Minion’s arm “by the way, thank you for bringing me home. If there’s anything I can do for you, let me know.”  
Minion’s fish mouth fell open. The buzzer rang for the intercom.  
“Oh that must be the pizza! I’ll get it” he said loudly, and ran down the stairs of the complex.

Okay, okay. Minion thought to himself. You need to calm down. He doesn’t know what that was. But obviously the man’s in shock! There’s no way he’ll let anything happen between the two of them while Bernard’s in a vulnerable state. 

Why did he get so flustered? So Bernard surprisingly has a lovely smile and a beautiful laugh. So what. That didn’t have to mean he had to act like a.. a teenager! Minion stood at the door way. Okay, breathe. When he goes back in, he’s going to be professional. He won’t accidentally mention anything about how similar his body is to a human’s. Minion put his hand to his tank. Why did he say that? He just blurted it out, then realised what he said! And of course Bernard realised, he had a cheeky, curious smile on his face. How can one smile unravel him like that? Seriously! Pull yourself together Minion! He’s going back in as a professional!

They’re eating the pizza when Bernard asked “so do you have a mechanical dick?”


	2. Chapter 2

Minion’s eating a bite of pizza when Bernard asked, so naturally, he choked a little, then coughed it up, while Bernard is just staring the whole time.  
“Uhhh...”  
Bernard laughed “Sorry, I just, I don’t know, suppose I’m a little curious?”  
“Oh. Um. Sure. Of course. Well I- uh- actually have both parts.”  
“You have both a penis and a vagina?”  
Minion nodded his little fish head.  
“Wow. That’s fascinating”  
Minion gave him a surprised look “Really?”  
“Well yea! The science behind that. And also the whole suit in general is amazing. The fact that you can control it through your mind?”  
Minion nodded so Bernard continued “Is just incredible”  
“Oh uh thanks. I designed it. Sir and I built it.”

They finished eating their pizza.  
“Do you want to play a board game or something?” Minion asked  
“I don’t have any board games. You are the first guest I’ve ever had, actually.”  
“Oh” after a pause, Minion added “I have cards? Sometimes while I was an evil henchman, I’d have to wait around for things, like Megamind’s signal to help him out of prison, or watching someone who may be up to something. So I always bring a deck of cards, just in case”  
Minion pulled out the cards. While Bernard cleaned up the coffee table.  
“I’d suggest strip poker but there’s no point with you” Bernard said, making Minion laugh. “We can play if you like?” Minion suggested, raising his eyebrows. Bernard’s face turned red. Oh, he wasn’t expecting that was he? He does look cute, when he blushes though. 

They played a few rounds of poker, where Minion won every round. Bernard’s going to have to learn how he does it. Who would of thought Minion had such a great poker face? Bernard’s usually really good at it, with his one flat expression on his face. But today’s different. He feels a little giddy. Maybe it’s the whole near death experience?

Minion looked at the time. “It’s getting late, I should probably go”  
“You should stay longer, if you’re not tired? We can watch something?”  
They picked a movie. Some rom-com. Bernard wasn’t really paying attention. He keeps on seeing Madam Dazzle.

Minion paused the tv. “Are you okay?”  
Bernard snapped out of his trance-like state. “Yea I’m fine.”  
“You’re not. Do you want to talk about it?”  
“I know I should. Just right now, I don’t want to. I’m really tired to be honest” Bernard said, slouching more into the couch.  
“I should probably go”  
“No! I mean only if you want to?”  
Minion smiled. “Do you want me to stay the night? I can sleep on the couch? That way you’re not alone”  
Bernard looked into the kind eyes. Minion does seem worried. Is that silly though? To have a grown up.. sleepover?  
“I’ll stay. That way, I know you’re okay. I’m guessing you don’t have a spare mattress? Your couch is comfy but I’d prefer a mattress”  
Bernard let out a sigh of relief “No I don’t. Thank you Minion. I keep.. seeing her. If you went, I know it will get worse in my head.”

Minion surprised Bernard by giving him a hug. Then he spoke into his watch “code- send brainbots to get the spare mattress and bring to Bernard’s”  
“Code- okay?” Came Megamind’s voice.  
“Code- I’m sleeping at Bernard’s to make sure he’s okay”  
“Code- oh, have fun.”  
Code- thanks Sir”

These two are too much, Bernard thought, with a smile on his face. It’s really nice that he cares though.

Bernard’s now laying on his side, on the bed. Minion’s on the floor, laying on his mattress, facing the ceiling. They’ve been sitting in content silence for a while. There’s something relaxing about being in Minion’s presence. Bernard feels like he doesn’t have to be on all the time. He can just be himself, and not care about getting a negative response from someone, because Bernard you can’t talk like that. You’re being rude Bernard. Why don’t you talk more Bernard? Ah why does it matter what he says? Why does he always owe everyone a response? Sorry Linda, but I don’t care about your baby. Yea it’s mean, but I just don’t care.  
“What are you thinking about?”  
Bernard let out a little sigh “do you ever just not want to talk to people?”  
“Yea” Minion responded softly.  
“Really? I thought you always liked talking to people? Every time I see you, say on the street or in a cafe, you’re always with someone?”  
“Oh I do. It’s just.... well. All they ever want to talk about it Megamind!” Minion got up, so he’s now sitting cross legged on the bed. “Don’t get me wrong, I love talking about my best friend. It’s just, they don’t seem to think I have a life of my own! I do! But they never ask me. It’s ‘oh I heard Megamind defeated Titan’ and ‘are Roxanne and Megamind getting married?”  
“I didn’t realise.”  
Minion laid his body back on the bed, but now he’s on his side facing Bernard.

“Sometimes I worry they’re right for not asking” Minion said softly. “I mean, what do I even have to talk about? Does anyone care about the new flowers I’m growing? Or the wedding dress I made for Roxanne? My whole life is built around Megamind. Maybe that’s all I’ll ever be, just his shadow” Minion gave a little chuckle “wow, talk about going deep. I didn’t even realise I felt that until now”

“I thought you were, I don’t know, content? With your life?”  
“I guess I am. I’m just not 100 percent happy with it.”  
“Well, you should be happy with your life. I want you to be happy”

Minion laughed “I think you’re just grateful I saved your life today.”  
“No. I mean, of course I am grateful. But it’s not that. You are such a wonderful person Minion. You think you’re someone’s shadow? You could never be someone’s shadow! You have such a huge presence. You literally came to an alien planet, and adapted so well. I was born on earth and I don’t fit in like you do. People love you. People I work with, will come up to me, and talk about how much they love you. They will say stuff like, why can’t you be more like Minion. He’s such a lovely guy. Seriously, this has happened more than once! I’ll just give them my lovely Bernard charm, to scare them off” Bernard and Minion laughed.  
“I don’t know. I just. It’s not fair that you feel this way.”  
“Thank you Bernard.” Minion said sincerely.

“Can I ask you a question?” Bernard nodded, so Minion continued “why do you scare people away?”  
Bernard thought about the question, then answered “Sometimes it’s because I honestly don’t want to talk. Sometimes it’s because I actually am too busy for conversation. But I think- I think deep down, it’s because, why bother? I don’t need fake people to be my friends. They’ll just leave anyway. They all do.”  
“I’m sorry you feel like that. You have a wonderful personality Bernard. People are missing out.”  
Bernard smiled “Well, I do like to be sarcastic as well”  
Minion laughed “Why doesn’t that surprise me?”

“Are you asleep?” Minion asked quietly  
Bernard smiled “No.... Hey Minion?”  
“Yea?”  
“What flowers are you growing?”  
Minion smiled and moved his body closer to Bernard’s bed “I’m growing gerberas, roses, and sunflowers.”  
“What colour are your roses?”  
“Lilac”  
“Oh nice colour”  
“Thanks” Minion said in his perky voice.

Bernard’s eyes are closed. He seems like he’s half asleep when he mumbled to himself “not someone’s shadow. Alien fish. Most fascinating person on this planet”

Minion awoke not knowing where he was. It took a couple of minutes for him to remember the events of yesterday. He looked up at Bernard, with relief. He’s safe. 

“Morning”  
“I didn’t realise you’re awake, how’d you sleep?” Minion asked.  
“Surprisingly well.”  
“Same” Minion said with a smile. It’s weird, waking up in the same room as someone. It’s nice though.

After having coffee and toast, they heard a knock from the front door. Megamind and Roxanne entered.  
“You need to fix your lock” Megamind suggested, while giving Bernard his door handle.  
“Wha- this wasn’t broken. Did you take off the whole door handle?”  
“You took too long to answer”  
Bernard looked over to Minion, who laughed.

“Ooh is that coffee?” Megamind asked.  
“You know I usually don’t have guests over. Although I appreciate what you two did for me yesterday-“  
Roxanne cut him off “we wouldn’t be here if this isn’t important”  
“Besides, Minion’s here” Megamind pointed out  
“That’s different” Bernard said, smiling at the fish alien. Making Minion’s stomach flutter with butterflies. 

Minion made them coffee. They’re now all sitting on the dining table.  
“We have bad news. Madam Dazzle broke out of prison yesterday.” Roxanne told them.  
Bernard’s face drained.  
“It gets worse. My uncles in prison have informed me that she’s been talking about you Bernard” Megamind said slowly.  
“What?!” Bernard squeaked.  
“She’s telling people that you’re her new toy.”  
Bernard went to speak, but nothing came out.  
“Sorry Bernard.” Roxanne said, putting a hand to his arm “So with Madam Dazzle. She likes to collect nice things. Shiny things like diamonds, cars, shoes. But she also likes to have men around her. Men that succumb to her. Usually they work for her, as henchmen. She knows how men see her, and she uses it to her advantage.” Roxanne informed him.  
Megamind eyed Bernard closely. “Have you considered going with her?”  
“No!” Bernard said loudly.  
“We wouldn’t judge you, if you did consider it. She’s beautiful” Minion told him.  
“Crazy villains aren’t my type” Bernard said in a flat tone.

“Why me? Is it my lovely, charming personality?” Bernard asked sarcastically. Minion laughed, Roxanne and Megamind looked at him, so he stopped laughing and coughed.  
“Isn’t it obvious?” Minion asked. Because, it is obvious. Right?  
Bernard looked at him questioningly. Okay, maybe not. He wants to yell ‘you’re incredibly handsome! I woke up next to you, and somehow you look even better in the morning.’ But he can’t say that. No. That’ll be a weird thing to say. 

Megamind saved him, by changing the subject “Bernard, do you have family or friends you can stay with? Until we can find a way to keep her in prison”  
Bernard’s face fell “no I don’t”  
“You can stay with me?” Minion said in an uplifting voice.  
“That’s a big ask Minion. You’ve already helped a lot”  
“I’m happy to help. I’ll be like your bodyguard.” Professional bodyguard. Who doesn’t want to do certain things to his charge, like feel his chest or squeeze his butt. No. Professional.  
“Okay. Thank you Minion” Bernard gave him a genuine smile. Minion’s heart skipped a beat. He can do this. Right?


	3. Chapter 3

Megamind and Minion both looked down at their watches and looked up at each other with fear in their eyes.  
“Did you bring the shields Sir?”  
“Yea but I only have 3” Megamind answered, giving Minion something.  
“What’s happening?” Bernard asked nervously.  
“A couple of brainbots spotted Madam Dazzle near by. Here” Minion said, putting something on Bernard. It’s a thin, plastic looking thing, that looks like a chest plate. He put it against Bernard’s chest, and it dissolved into his clothes. Megamind and Roxanne put theirs on as well.  
“But Minion, you don’t have-“  
“Don’t worry about me.” Minion cut Bernard off, and turned to Megamind “what’s the plan?”  
“Roxanne and I will distract her. Use the disguise watch and go somewhere safe” Megamind handed Minion a watch. Minion put the watch on Bernard’s wrist, and turned a dial. Bernard gasped, as his body turned into someone else’s. Minion twisted his own watch to show an older man.  
“Thanks Sir”  
“Please be safe” Roxanne said with concern in her eyes.  
“I’ll try. Be careful. Are you sure you don’t want me to stay?” “No. Go.” Megamind persisted. Minion hugged the other two quickly. He then grabbed Bernard and led him out a fire escape. The whole thing lasted less than 5 minutes.

Bernard freaked out when Minion opened a car door out of thin air. But then, with the whole looking like a different person, running from a villain with lightning powers, with a talking fish alien, an invisible car seems like nothing. 

They drove for a little while in silence.  
“Miniooonn...” Bernard said, squeezing his eyes shut, as they’re about to crash into a wall. When nothing happened, he opened them, to see they’re in someone’s home?

Minion shut the car off, and turned to Bernard “welcome to one of the evil lairs. Well not so evil anymore”  
Oh. So, that’s where they are. Not knowing what else to do, Bernard sat on the couch. Minion paced up and down in the living room. He keeps looking at his watch.  
“Are you okay?”  
“I should of stayed and helped. If something happens..” Minion said with concern.  
“You saw them yesterday. They can handle her. Here, come sit down” Bernard held Minion’s hand, leading him to the couch. Surprisingly, he did as told, and sat close to him, while still holding his hand. One foot is fidgeting. 

Now that he has time to process everything, he realises that he’s wearing a skirt. Hmm. He’s a girl. Wasn’t expecting that. He wonders what his face looks like.  
“Oh sorry” Minion said, and turned the dial of the watch, so Bernard is back to himself. He did the same to himself. 

“Minion?” Came Megamind’s voice from the watch.  
“Sir! Are you okay?”  
“Code- we are both unharmed. We scared her off. Please stay low, until we figure out her next move. I’ll have reinforcements near you just in case.”  
“Code- I’m so relieved! Get some rest. Stay in touch”  
“They’re okay” Minion said to Bernard with a sigh of relief.  
Bernard hugged Minion. Now what do they do? There’s a crazy villain after him, for who knows why. And he can’t go back to his home, because she knows where he lives. But being with Minion feels like a breath of air, after being under water. 

Bernard put his legs up on the couch. Minion moved, so he now has an arm around Bernard. He couldn’t help but have his head on the mechanical shoulder. You wouldn’t think it’ll be this comfortable.  
“You cold?” Minion asked  
Bernard nodded his head. Minion pressed a button on his gorilla suit, and the shoulder became warmer. Oh this is nice! He could get use to this. Bernard closed his eyes.

Bernard woke feeling too warm. Minion opened his eyes slowly, brown eyes watched him, as Bernard put his hands to the dial Minion used earlier. He turned off the heater. Minion let out a little ‘mmm’ and laid his body on the couch, taking Bernard with him. Bernard fell back asleep, on top of him, feeling the comfort of the alien’s arms around him. 


	4. Chapter 4

“Code- Are you two okay?”  
Bernard jumped awake.  
Brown eyes opened, and an apologetic smile said “sorry Bernard”  
“Code- Yea, we are. Is everything okay on your end?”  
“Code- Yes it is. Roxanne’s annoyed Madam Dazzle got away”  
Another voice came through the watch “we almost had her Minion! So close! But Mr Ineedtobesafe here wouldn’t let me go after her!”  
“You forgot to say code” Megamind said through the speaker. Roxanne’s groan came loud and clear. Minion looked at Bernard and they both quietly laughed.  
“We were running out of time” was the blue alien’s defence to his wife.  
“Code- Roxanne, we’ve talked about how important your safety is! You wouldn’t want to harm the baby” Minion put his hand to his tank, covering his mouth “Whoops! Sorry. It just came out.”  
“Wait is Bernard there?” Roxanne asked. Then groans loudly and repeats “code- is Bernard there? Happy?”  
“Code- uh yea, sorry”  
“Code- that’s okay, I’m surprised you haven’t told him yet” Megamind responded.  
“Code- thanks

Minion gave a sheepish look. Does he realise how adorable he can be?  
“Well the cat’s out of the bag then?” Bernard said, because he had to say something, Minion’s looking at him, and shit, he’s still laying on top of him. Bernard got up quickly.  
“Yea. I’ve been dying to tell someone” Minion said with so much excitement. Of course he would be excited.  
“You’ll make a great... uncle?”  
“Thanks, I’ll be uncle Minion” he said with a smile covering his whole face.  
Bernard can’t help it, the smile is contagious “well good for them” after a pause Bernard asked “Do you ever see yourself having kids?”  
“No.”  
“Really? I thought you would want all of that?”  
“Nah. I do love kids, but I don’t ever want that for myself. I’m more of a fun uncle type”  
“I can definitely see you getting the kid hyped up on sugar, then handing the little one back to their parents”.  
Minion gave another adorable sheepish look “yea, that’s definitely me!”  


“Would you ever have kids?” Minion asked with a cheeky smile.  
“Fuck no” Bernard automatically responded, making the fish alien laugh.  
“How did I know that’ll be your answer?” Bernard laughed.  
“What with all of the messy faces, and dirty nappies? And don’t get me started on the tantrums!”  
Minion laughed “oh I can see it now. 5 years from now, you with 3 kids, yelling ‘get your finger out of your nose. Albert, and stop being mean to your sister.” Minion tilted his tank head back, and laughed.  
Bernard can’t help the smile on his face, although he will damn well try to.  
“Albert? Am I having a kid or a 70 year old?”  
“Well you try to think of a name on the spot”  
“And that scenario will never happen, thank you very much! I’ll be on the beach, with a tequila sunrise in my hand. And you know where you’ll be... babysitting your niece or nephew”  
“Damn right I will be” Minion said proudly. Crap, that backfired.  
“You’re no fun to tease”  
“Oh is Bernie-Ernie upset?” Minion asked teasingly, leaning forward. Shit, he’s so close.  
“Bernie-Ernie? No, just no”  
“Oh does Bernie-Ernie not like to be called Bernie-Ernie?”  
“Ah you are just so...” annoying but cute, aggravating but adorable. Maybe don’t finish that sentence.  
Minion’s laugh rang through the not so evil lair.

“Well enough teasing, gotta do some work” Minion said with an upbeat attitude, getting off the couch. Bernard looks at the empty couch, it feels so bare without him. “Wait up” he said, following the alien “can I help?”  
Minion turned and looks at him “you want to help?”  
“Well depends on what you’re doing?”  
The fish alien smiled “I need to make another lightening repellent shield.”  
“Oh, uh not sure if I’ll be any help with that” Bernard said, feeling a little deflated. Minion gave him one of his kind, genuine smiles “Come and keep me company?”  
Bernard nodded, smiling at Minion. How does he always make him look like a smiling idiot?”  


Watching Minion work is captivating. He does things with such accuracy and confidence. “You could do this in your sleep, couldn’t you?”  
Minion gave a cocky smile “I’d say I could. Sometimes I dream about building things. This one time, I woke up, and my arms were in the air, mimicking the things I was making in my dream.”  
Bernard laughed “do you enjoy making things that much?”  
Minion thought before answering “yea I do. I get more excited about designing the products, but I also enjoy getting my hands dirty and just making things.” He gave one of his cute, shy smiles.  
“I really enjoy designing clothes though.” Minion tells him.  
“Really? Why do I have a feeling you’ve already made some baby clothes?”  
Minion looked up and smiled “maybe I have”  
“Are they in this lair?” Minion nodded his tank.  
Bernard got off his chair “okay, show me. I know you’re dying to”  
Minion’s body came up fast, with his tank almost hitting Bernard on the forehead. The fish alien grabbed Bernard’s hand, pulling him.  
“I’ve been dying to show someone! I’m glad it’s you, because I’ll get an honest opinion.”  
“Oh. Uh thanks?”  
Minion looked behind, at Bernard “you’re welcome” he said in his upbeat voice. Honest opinion? Is that a good thing or not? At least the alien knows what he’s like.

They walked into a room full of fabric and sewing needs.  
Minion grabbed a pile of little clothes, unfolding them and showing them individually. There’s already about 20 pieces of clothing.  
“How long have you known she’s pregnant?”  
“8 days”  
“And you’ve made all of that in 8 days?”  
“Well yea. I love making them. What do you think?”  
“Not too bad. I like the one that looks like a mini-Megamind.” It’s an all black, fake leather, onesie, with a little cape. In the centre is the famous blue lightning bolt.  
“Really? That’s my favourite as well. And not too bad? You can say you like them, I know you do”  
Bernard’s eyes widened “what?”  
“It’s okay to admit you like them. I know you just don’t want to say it, as they’re baby clothes. I can tell you like them”  
“And how can you tell?”  
“You’re eyes squint a little, and your mouth twitches slightly into a smile, before you realise, then turn it into a frown”  
“I do not do that”  
“You do. I wanted an honest opinion, and I got it, through your facial expression”  
“I don’t make facial expressions!”  
“You’re making one right now” Minion leaned closer “it says ‘I’m going to kill Minion”  
Bernard groaned loudly “stop reading my facial expressions! I’m only supposed to have one expression!” He indicated with one finger.  
“Well you may of fooled everyone else, but you haven’t fooled me”  
“Fuck off”  
“What?”  
“You don’t know me as well as you think you do”  
“Why is it so bad if I know you?”  
“Because...”  
“Not an answer”  
They both stood there staring at one another. “Why do you shut yourself from the world?” The fish alien asked  
“Because..”  
“Still not a fucking answer” hearing Minion swear softened Bernard a little.  
“I didn’t think you could swear”  
“Well I fucking do, so get over it”  
Surprising Minion, Bernard started laughing. Minion joined in as well, may as well both be crazy, right?.  
“Why are we fighting?” Bernard asked  
“I don’t know. But you started it” Minion said, pointing a finger to Bernard’s ribs.  
“Seriously? Are we in high school” Bernard asked in a flat tone.  
Minion laughed “what am I going to do with you” the adoration in Minion’s tone took Bernard off guard. His only response being “whatever the fuck you want”. The shock in Minion’s face is almost comical. Bernard put a hand on Minion’s shoulder “I’m going to go take a shower”.  
“Yes, shower, you do that” Bernard, having already started to walk off, turned and smiled at him. Fuck. What’s he getting himself into? Minion sat back down, to continue working. It would help if he could concentrate, instead of seeing Bernard’s stupid enticing but adorable smile.  



	5. Chapter 5

Oh my gosh, this is heaven. Bernard never wants to leave this shower. Of course it would be better if a certain fish alien were in there- no that’s weird, that’s a weird thought. Friends don’t invite friends in to shower with them. Right? What does he know, he doesn’t do the whole friend thing. Too complicated. He doesn’t need annoying, fake people around him. But Minion’s different. He actually listens when he talks. He actually seems to give a fuck. Why? Honestly why? Why is he trying to protect him? He could of just dropped him off, he didn’t even have to help him get the duct tape off his mouth, he could of just left him, to go inside and rip it off himself. But he didn’t. He took the tape off with such care, and compassion. Ah! It’s just too much! He’s too much! Bernard’s not the type to just return that kind of care. How? How is he supposed to return that? He can’t! He’s fucking Bernard. Sarcastic Bernard. Minion’s too kind for this world. He’s too kind to be friends with Bernard. Are they.. friends? Could they be? Would Minion want that? Does he want that? This is way too many questions for now. 

Knowing he can’t just live in this shower, although he would if he could, Bernard turns off the hot water. He dried himself and looked over the clothes Minion left him. They must be Megamind’s. It’s a pair of skinny black jeans, and a button up black shirt. After getting changed, Bernard accidentally bumped the watch that Minion put on him. A blue light flashed, his face turning into a new but familiar face, reflecting back at him in the mirror. What! “Minion” he called, coming out of the bathroom  
“Uh yea...” Minion suddenly appeared in front of him, making Bernard jump. How is he so fast and quiet? Minion took in the form that Bernard is now wearing. “Was this you?” Bernard asked  
“Yea... uh.. surprise”  
“Why didn’t you tell me?”  
“What was I going to say? Hey you know, that guy that use to come into your work, and try and talk to you, was actually me. It’s not like we were actually friends”  
“Yea? No” Bernard sighed “I don’t know.”  


It’s just- well this particular disguise, or as Bernard use to call him, cute shy guy, use to sometimes come into the museum. He’d look at the artefacts, smiling the whole time. Bernard would watch him from the corner of his eye. Sometimes, he’d talk to Bernard, on the way out. Bernard would be a sarcastic arse to him, because that’s who he is. Cute shy guy, or now he knows it was Minion, would smile, a shy smile, his lovely brown eyes, standing out. 

Some days he wonders if it was a game to this mysterious man. He’d come in, Bernard would feel eyes on him, so he would look over, then those brown eyes would look away. He’d laugh at the new comments Bernard would leave in front of the artefacts. He’d write facts about the artefacts, but also put in some puns or comments. He started it to pass the time. But when cute shy guy would come in and laugh, well he might as well keep the customers happy, right? 

Before the shy guy would leave, he’d say something nice, like “have a nice day”. Bernard would say something like “yea a nice day in hell” and the mysterious stranger would laugh, like he expected Bernard to be an arse. Like he enjoyed their very little banter? It was odd. But Bernard still found himself wondering if he would see those lovely, sweet eyes, for his next day of work. 

“I can’t believe it was you” Bernard’s face is actually showing surprise. He can’t hide it this time.

Minion gave an abashed look, then straightened up with a determined face “I had to. You have no idea what it’s like to be an alien among these humans. Wherever I go, I stand out. Not to mention the fact that I was an evil henchman at the time, so being out in public meant I was risking going to jail.”  
“I never thought about it like that”  
“Because you never had to. You’re Bernard, you live in your own little world. You don’t need to care for others. You don’t need to be nice, so people aren’t completely afraid of you, because a talking fish in a gorilla suit can be pre-tty scary.”  
Bernard’s mouth formed an ‘oh’  
“But when I would wear that disguise, or the other ones I have, I wouldn’t need to worry about whether I’m going to make some poor, little girl cry. I can just go out, and be whoever I want.”  
Minion continued “and it was all worth it. I loved coming to your museum, I love those little quips you’d make about certain artefacts. I love the new things, you would bring in monthly. The place is just so relaxing. I felt like I could just sit there for hours, in this peaceful place, and not worry about Megamind needing me, or the warden being disappointed with us. Or the fact that my planet, my home is no longer...” Minion’s voice quivered, he went silent for a moment. Not knowing what to do, Bernard put his arm around Minion’s waist. Minion leaned his head on Bernard’s shoulder. 

After a few minutes and with a quiet voice Minion said “also I absolutely love the cafe just outside the museum”  
Bernard’s face lit up “ Beans?”  
“Yes!” Minion stood straight, so he can now see Bernard’s face.  
“I love Beans. Have you tried their cinnamon scrolls?”  
Minion shook his head tank side to side “no, I’m addicted to their banana bread. I always get that.”  
“Oh that’s really good as well.” There’s a pause in the conversation, before Bernard says “I could go for their coffee right now”  
“We should go?”  
“But what about Madam Dazzle?”  
“We can wear our disguises”  
Bernard thought about this, then gave the fish alien a huge smile “I suppose we could go”  
Minion rolled his eyes “I know you want to”

Bernard’s smile lit up his face “yes, I do, I really want to go there.. with you”  
Minion’s smile matched Bernard’s.

They ordered the cinnamon scroll and banana bread to share, with their coffees. It’s weird being out as another person, but Bernard’s loving it. It’s like him and Minion have their own little secret, no one knowing it’s really them. By some unknown rule, and he’s really not sure how it started, but they were acting as a couple. Minion pulled out Bernard’s chair for him. They sat down and held hands. It was nice to just be able to smile while in public. Minion and he were joking around, and Bernard put his head back and laughed loudly, and he didn’t care. No one knows it’s him, he can be loud, and smile like an idiot at the lovely, brown eyes which look so happy. 

Bernard sighed contently. “This was a good idea”  
“Thanks. I’m really enjoying myself”  
“I am as well” Bernard squeezes Minion’s hand and started rubbing his thumb on Minion’s “Can you feel that?” He whispered.  
Minion nodded his disguise head.  
Bernard put his chair closer to Minion’s. They are supposed to be a couple anyway. He moved his other hand to Minion’s arm “can you feel this?” He ran his hand up and down the arm. Minion nodded again. Bernard gave a cheeky smile, then tickled Minion’s arm, making the fish alien laugh and tickle him back.

“Okay, okay, you win” Bernard said

“What do I win?” Minion asked in a deep voice. And fuck, Bernard doesn’t want to answer that right now.  
“Let’s go home” Bernard suggested “I mean let’s go back to your home. I mean to one of the not so evil lairs”  
Minion gave a little chuckle before answering “It actually is my home. Once Megamind married Roxanne, I moved out, to give them some space.”  
“Oh, that was nice of you”  
“To be honest, I did it more for myself. I love them, but sometimes you need your space”.  
Bernard nodded, he completely gets that, then a thought occurred “wait is it okay that I’m staying with you? I can find a hotel or something, I don’t mind” he couldn’t help the way his voice broke a little.  
“No!” Minion said a little loudly, looked around the cafe, then said more quietly “thanks, but it’s nice having you around. Besides I am your bodyguard”.  
“If you sing the bodyguard theme song I am walking out”  
Minion leaned closer and started humming “I will always love you”  
Bernard couldn’t help but laugh “you are such a dag”  
Minion smiled proudly “I sure am Bernie-Ernie”.  
Is it weird that they nickname is growing on him? Maybe it’s just the way Minion says it? Ah what is he turning into?

Bernard only now realised they are still holding hands, with sweaty hands, he squeezed the disguised hand, and smiled into sweet brown eyes, his heart beating a little too fast. Shit, he’s in trouble.


	6. Chapter 6

They entered Minion’s home, and turned off their disguises.  
“That was fun” Minion said delightfully  
“It was. Although it’s good to see your lovely face again” Why, oh why did did he say that aloud?

The look on the fish alien’s face is worth it though. It’s shy and happy and cute. He’s going to have to give more compliments, just to get that reaction from the fish alien. 

Bernard looked down at his normal body, he forgot that he’s wearing Megamind’s clothes. It’s actually nice to wear black, he’s going to have to buy himself a pair of skinny black jeans. He looked up to see Minion is staring at him. Can his heart stop fluttering like that? Seriously. 

Bernard took a step closer to Minion. He doesn’t really know what he’s planning on doing, he’s just drawn to him. He wants to be closer. Does he want those mechanical arms around him? Yes, he’d like that. He’s never been much of a hugger. He’s actually never liked personal contact so much either, but there’s something with this alien, that he just wants all of that. 

It was really nice to act like a couple at the cafe. But maybe he should tell him that he doesn’t do the whole boyfriend thing? Bernard is not someone’s boyfriend. He couldn’t be that again, even to Minion. He likes him, he can admit that now. He has a crush? Maybe? If that’s what this is? But boyfriend? No.

“I better get our beds ready. Do you want to sleep in Megamind’s old bed? Or you can sleep in mine” Minion asked a little awkwardly, then added “and I can sleep in Sir’s old bed”  
“Either one is fine with me” Bernard waved a hand dismissively.  
“Okay, um mine is pretty comfortable, you can sleep in my bed” Minion went to get the beds ready. Always the sweet host.  
Now Bernard is in Minion’s bed, with one blanket tucked into him. Minion lent him pyjamas that he made. It was pretty awkward, when he had to sew it in at the waist. The fish alien was so close to him, concentrating so deep on his mechanical fingers, weaving the needle up and down between the matierial. 

They’re navy and so soft. Bernard keeps rubbing his hand on the material. He asked the fish alien if he wouldn’t mind making him his own pair, but Minion insisted that he keep the ones he’s wearing.  
“Are you sure?”  
Minion smiled fondly “yes. I only made those because I was bored. Keep them.”  
“Thank you” Bernard said appreciatively. It’s weird, this whole being nice thing. Does Minion even realise the good influence he brings? Hmm, maybe he can be the bad influence then, Bernard held back a wicked smile.

“You’re welcome.” After a pause Minion mentioned “Um, sorry we don’t have any spare blankets, will you be warm enough?” Bernard was about to say yea I’ll be fine, when a thought occurred “it is a bit cold”  
Minion’s face fell. Oh great, he wasn’t intending for that. “You can come and keep me warm, with your heater? If you like?” He quickly added, because that was the plan, not to make him unhappy, but to keep him closer to him. And shit, what is he doing?  
Minion perked up “Oh! Yea I can do that. If you want me to?”  
Bernard gave him a shy smile “yes, that’ll be nice” 

They’re both lying there, looking up at the ceiling. Minion’s body heater is nice and warm. Bernard’s struggling not to put his whole body on top of Minion’s. It’s not that he’s actually cold, it’s just nice, the warmth coming from him. It’s comforting. 

Minion turned to the side, to face him.  
“How are you? With everything that’s happened with Madam Dazzle?”  
Bernard sighed “I don’t know. I haven’t seen her face in my head as much. I still can’t believe she broke out of prison. But it’s like, I’m scared, but I’m also not? Like I thought I’d be worse”  
“Maybe it’s because you know I won’t let anything happen to you?” Minion asked. How can he say that so determinedly?  
“You can’t just say that” he snapped.  
“But it’s true. You’ll be safe, with me”  
Bernard can feel his heart beating fast, he got up “No! Why are you so caring! It’s ugh” Bernard groaned.  
“Why are you being so nice?! I was an asshole to you! I’m an asshole to everyone.” 

“You’re not an asshole to me” Minion looked down, then back up again “you’ve never been an asshole. I was at a low point in my life, when I use to visit your museum in disguise. And you use to.. brighten up my day.” He said the last part softly, then spoke back up “I know it’s silly, because we didn’t even really talk, but I always felt better after.”

“But I was mean to you. You were always so nice, and don’t act like I was nice, because I wasn’t” Minion smiled “no you definitely weren’t. It was hard just to get any response from you, that wasn’t a grunt, some days. You’re sarcastic and mean, but that’s just you. You’re also funny and caring”  
“Ugh” Bernard pulled a face of disgust, making Minion laugh. 

The fish alien gave a cheeky grin “hmm it seems like you don’t like to get compliments? You know, you are very handsome”  
Bernard shook his head “You’re so mean”. Oh that alien is cheeky! He can’t use his weakness against him like that.  
“You have gorgeous hair” Bernard made a sound in the back of his throat. He’s been told that before, but it’s different, coming from Minion.  
“You looked very sexy in black” the alien’s voice is deep. Despite Bernard telling his face not to, it betrayed him, turning red.

Before Minion can give his next cheeky remark, Bernard interrupted with “you have beautiful eyes”.   
“Why thank you” Minion’s tone is annoyingly happy.  
Bernard groaned.  
Minion laughed “okay, okay, I’ll stop. But you do have a nice smile”   
Bernard’s response is soft and low “thanks”. He really wishes he could stop his heart from fluttering so much.  


Looking at Minion, Bernard wonders if the fish alien has ever kissed anyone? Would it be something he’d be interested in? Or would he not want to leave his tank? Maybe his partner would only ever kiss his mechanical suit? If they were together, what would he want to do? Okay, he can’t just think of that like that’s nothing. He doesn’t do ‘together’ with anyone. Even if the other person is caring and just amazing. And yea, so he wants to feel the mechanical anatomies that Minion made? So what? That’s okay, right? Friends can have sex right? 

But then, he doesn’t want to complicate things and lose him. Why can’t he just be normal?

Bernard’s feeling a little too warm, so he slowly reached out and turned off the heater, watching Minion to make sure it’s okay. They were half asleep last time Bernard turned it off, and he doesn’t want to make Minion uncomfortable. The fish alien gave him a lovely little smile, so he guesses that’s okay. Bernard is ignoring his heart skipping a beat at that smile.

“Uh, weird question, but do you need to water your flowers?” Bernard asked, having just remembered the other mentioning them with that sparkle in his eyes.

“Oh yea! I completely forgot all about them!” Minion looks really cute when he’s surprised. His face fell a little when he exclaimed “oh but I’m nice and comfy”.

Bernard laughed “come on, we’ll both go, you can show them to me” he grabbed Minion’s hand, who now seemed to light up again.

Bernard’s reluctant to let go of the alien’s mechanical hand. He looks up, to make sure Minion’s okay with it. The other looks down and gives him a reassuring smile, his hand squeezing his human hand, so Bernard’s taking that as an affirmation. And thank gosh for that, Bernard doesn’t want to stop touching him. Is that weird? Oh who gives a fuck, why does he always question everything? Right now, all that matters, is his crush? Or friend? Or whatever is going to show him the flowers he’s growing, and there’s nowhere else he’d rather be.


	7. Chapter 7

While walking, they went past a room with a huge tank, going from the floor, almost to the ceiling. Bernard can’t see all of it, but it looks beautiful from here, there’s coral on the floor, and stairs coming out of the tank. He moved his head to try and get a better look. Minion pulled his arm to further him along. Does he not want him to see it? Is Minion embarrassed about being in the shape of a fish? That’s just who he is though. He’s going to have to say something, but not now. 

They go through huge glass doors and enter a section of the Lair that must be a makeshift backyard. There’s a bbq and outdoor furniture, with fairy lights hanging from the roof, and around some trees. Bernard feels a longing to be with Minion while cooking a barbecue, wine in his hand, talking about their day.  
There’s vibrant green plants and beautiful flowers around them. Minion’s flowers.  
“They’re beautiful Minion”  
The fish alien seems embarrassed and shy when he responds with a “thank you”

Bernard sits on a bench near the flowers. Minion waters them, then gets garden clippers and cuts the leaves that are starting to wilt. He cuts a red gerbera off and makes his way to Bernard, who looks a little vulnerable when Minion put the flower on his ear.

Bernard’s staring at him so Minion, feeling like he should say something stammers “uh.. you have to cut the ones that are starting to wilt, to keep the rest of them uh.. healthy.”  
Bernard formed an oh with his mouth

Bernard looks so good, sitting there, with the flower in his hair. Minion sits next to him. He can’t believe he’s here, with Bernard now.

“Minion?”  
“Yes?” darling. Beautiful. Whatever you want.  
“Um, I don’t really know how to say this, and I don’t know, maybe it sounds a little weird but um...” he trailed off, lifting his arm to scratch the back of his neck.  
“Whatever it is, it’s just me here, you can tell me anything”  
Bernard let out a breath “you’re right. Um.. I don’t do the whole boyfriend thing. I can’t. I just can’t. Ever again”

Minion let out a breath of relief. That’s okay. He thought it would be worse. He really thought he was going to reject him. He obviously has some past issues, and there’s no way Minion would ever push that.  
“Uh.. That’s okay. I wouldn’t expect you to..” what does he say to that? It’s not like he’s saying he would want that with him. He’s not saying he likes him, but then why is he telling him? Like maybe he knows how Minion feels? Crap!  
“Thank you. I should explain”  
“Only if you want to?”

After a pause Bernard answered “I do. Look it’s not as bad as you’re probably thinking, I wasn’t in an abusive relationship or anything. It’s just.. I had this ex. And look I really don’t know how relationships really work, so maybe it was just me? But I felt like...” he paused, seeming to think of what to say “She made me feel like she only wanted me for my body” he said ‘my body’ quietly, seeming embarrassed. “Like, we would go out, and she’d have to take a picture of us, and post it. Then the whole night, she’d just be on social media, checking it for likes. She’d always tell me how beautiful I am, and make sure I always looked my best. She’d never care for what I had to say. It was like I was just there to be an accessory on her arm. I know, I’m a guy and I shouldn’t feel that way, but that’s how I feel”

Minion shook his head “no, you’re allowed to feel that way. That sounds horrible”. Minion put his hand on Bernard’s and held it.  
“It was. I briefly went out with someone else after. He started to make me feel like she did, and I just couldn’t. I never want to go back to that. But Minion...”  
“Yea?” Minion’s heart skipped a beat at the way he’s looking at him. Really looking. His smile small and hopeful?  
“I’ve talked more with you, in these last couple of days, than I did with both of them.”

Minion’s fish mouth formed an “oh” but no words come out. 

“And I’ve really enjoyed talking with you. You’re.. you’re such a good thing in my life.”  
“You are as well. And I have... also. Enjoyed talking to you”  
Bernard smiled at him, then surprised Minion, by kissing him on his shoulder. It was a quick kiss, he looks scared now. Like Minion wouldn’t want that, as if he would ever not want that from him. Not knowing what to do, Minion put his arms around him in a hug. “I’ve never been with anyone. Romantically. But um.. I liked that, just now. The...kiss” wow this is so awkward. Bernard gives him one of those huge smiles he’s been giving. Minion likes to think they’re only for him. Oh how he hopes they’re only for him. “You mean this?” Bernard kissed him on the shoulder again. Minion nodded his tank and whole fish body. Bernard’s beautiful brown eyes watched him as he moved to Minion’s other shoulder, kissing him. This one taking longer than the first. 

“I can’t actually do anything back. Unless I leave the water, and I don’t. Really feel. Comfortable. Leaving the tank”  
“This is o-“  
“I know” Minion interrupted “I’ll change into a disguise” he went to turn the dial, when Bernard’s hand caught his wrist. 

Bernard shook his head “No. I want to see you” he said it so shyly, Minion’s heart beat even more faster than it already is.  
“I’m happy kissing you, if you want me to?”  
“I really want you to. Can I, uh, put my hands through your hair?” Bernard nodded, so Minion slowly put his robotic hands through his hair. Having never done this before, he hopes massaging the head is the normal thing to do. Bernard’s eyes are closed, his smile seeming content, so maybe he’s doing okay.

Bernard opened his eyes and kissed his tank. Not having enough time to react, Minion leant in closer. Bernard seems surprised but leant in as well, kissing the tank again, Minion moved to the edge of the tank, where Bernard’s lips are, forming a kiss as well. Making them kiss with the glass between them. It won’t really have any affect on either of them, with both of them just kissing glass, but he really hopes Bernard likes it as much Minion does. 

“Come. Let’s go to bed” Bernard suggested, leaving Minion feeling speechless. It feels like something that could be said every night, after dinner, and watching t.v. It makes him think of him sewing while Bernard’s cooking. And a bottle of wine shared between them, sitting on the couch, talking about life. It feels like home.


	8. Chapter 8

While walking, Bernard stopped to kiss Minion’s chest again. Without thinking, Minion scooped him up in his arms, carrying him bridal style. The beautiful man kisses his arm. He really wishes he can help the butterflies that are in his stomach, while thinking of what’s most likely going to happen once they’re in the room. Minion can’t help but wish he was a little more experienced right now. Or at least have any experience, what so ever.

They enter the room, but Minion doesn’t let go. Luckily Bernard keeps on kissing him all over. He’s starting to feel a little overwhelmed about this whole thing. Is he really about to have sex with Bernard? Would it mean something? He already said he doesn’t want an actual relationship. Crap. Maybe this is a bad idea?

Bernard must of sensed his hesitation as he stops kissing and looks into Minion’s eyes.  
“Hey we don’t have to go further. I’m happy kissing you, but I can stop if you want me to?”  
“No, I really like it. But uh, I’m not too sure about doing any more right now”  
“That’s okay. We don’t need to do that. do you want to go on the bed and continue? Or we can go to the couch if you like? I don’t want you to have to stand for too long”  
Minion responded by moving towards the bed, putting the smaller man down. 

The handsome man on his bed sighed happily “you’re so strong Minion. You carried me like it was nothing”.  
“I had to make this body strong, being in my old line of work and all.”  
“I like your body”  
Minion gave a small gasp. No one has ever said that to him. Ever. And he’s saying it, like it’s nothing.  
“You do?”  
Bernard nodded his cute little head “Yea. It’s strong, and unique, and it holds you in it. Also the fact that you helped make it, is absolutely amazing”

Not knowing what to say, Minion moved his fish body to the edge of the tank, to give him another glass-walled kiss. Bernard kissed him back.

The next hour was full of kisses and conversation about life. Bernard gave a huge laugh at something Minion said, and he doesn’t know what came over him, but he suddenly had the urge to take off the other man’s pyjama top, so he did. 

His body is skinny with some muscles. He couldn’t help the compliment from coming out “Beautiful”. Seeing the blush on his face is so cute though.

Minion started to rub a hand over his chest, massaging a little. While his other hand is now on his back, moving lower. It found Bernard’s tiny butt, massaging the cheek. He got to the nipples, and not knowing what to do, massaged them as well.  
“Oh you’re cold, let me..” Minion’s hand is on the dial of his heater, when Bernard put his hand on his to stop him.  
“I’m not cold”  
“But your nipple hardened. Human nipples get hard when they’re cold”  
Bernard’s face is a light pink when his response is “They do. They also harden when aroused”  
“Oh! Oh really? Wow. I’ve never. Oh this is so exciting!”

Bernard laughed.  
“Are you hard?”  
“Yea. But we can just ignore that” Bernard answered.  
“I don’t want to” Minion’s voice came out really small.  
Bernard kissed his chest, where a human heart would be.  
“I don’t want to rush you.”  
“You’re not. I want to do this”  
“Are you sure?”  
Minion’s response is to move his hand to the man’s lower abs. He watched him as he slowly made his way to Bernard’s erection.  
“Just to remind you, that we can stop any time you want to. If you change your mind, tell me straight away.”  
“Sure thing Bernie-Ernie” Minion’s perky voice seemed to surprise Bernard.  
“You seem so excited for this? It is your first time right?”  
“I am, and yea it is”  
“And it’s okay, that it’s with me?” The worry in Bernard’s face is clear. Why would he think he’d want anyone else?  
“Of course. There’s no one else I’d rather be here with, than sarcastic, funny, beautiful Bernard”  
Bernard kissed him on his tank, then moved to his arms, kissing up and down.  
“I wouldn’t want to be with anyone else right now as well. I really care for you Minion” he said it so vulnerable, like maybe it would scare him off. Well Bernard’s got another thing coming, because he doesn’t get scared that easily, he grew up in a prison.  
“I feel the same. Come here” The two kissed again. Minion started rubbing him. Bernard made the cutest little sounds.

Everything seemed to be going okay, until Bernard blurted out “David likes you”  
Minion let go of Bernard. It took him a second for the words to register, then for him to realise who he was talking about. Bernard’s breathing pretty heavily and looking upset.  
“David? From your work David?”

Bernard nodded. “I saw you two at lunch recently, and he talks about you a lot at work. It’s pretty obvious how he feels”. He seems calm now, when he tells him “you’re only with me right now because you don’t think you have other options. You should be with him. He can give you what I can’t. You deserve to be with someone who can give you everything. Not someone who’s messed up like I am. I had to say something. I don’t want you to regret losing your virginity to me. I couldn’t do that to you” 

“First thing first, you don’t know that he likes me”

“He does! Minion. Look, I don’t talk much to people, at all. But I observe. He makes up any excuse to see you. He bought you and him tickets to some show, I overheard him telling people at work. And I’ve seen the way he looks at you. He.. he likes you. And I won’t stand in the way. You should be with him. You would make a... nice couple together” Bernard started to get off the bed.

“Wait a minute!” Minion grabbed the smaller man and held him around the waist, then turned him around, so they’re face to face. “Do I not get any say in this? I don’t like David. Not like that. I don’t care if I have other options. I want to be here, with you right now. I want my first time to be with you. And to be honest, I want all the times to be with you. We don’t need that stupid title of boyfriend. And I would never parade you around, like some, I don’t know, show dog or something? You are Bernard! And how dare you tell me who I should and shouldn’t be with! Because you know what, i fucking like you! Okay! Deal with it!”

The silence is really noticeable, now that Minion’s not yelling. 

“I like you as well”  
“No I mean really like.”  
Bernard finally smiled “I really like you as well. And you know what?” Minion looked at him, so he continued “you’re really hot when you swear”. Minion laughed, making the other’s smile light up his face.

“I was supposed to go to the show, that night that I stayed at yours”  
“What?”  
“I already knew that I didn’t like him. I guess I was only going to go as I felt a little lonely. That day, after I rescued you, I made the decision to not go. Although it wasn’t even an option really. As soon I saw you smile at me, asking if I wanted to have dinner with you. I mean, how could I say no? I felt like, I don’t know, like your guard was down, and I could finally really see you for who you really are. And I mean, I already knew that I kind of liked you, from when I visited your work in disguise. But actually getting to know you, that night, was just wow! I don’t regret any minute of it”

Bernard breathed out a sigh of relief. “Me neither. I can’t imagine these past few days without you. I’m sorry I almost ruined this.”

Minion hugged him “it would of taken a lot more for me to just let you go”.  
Bernard squeezes him. “Good, because this is exactly where I want to be, with you” after a pause he asked “How are you so cuddly?”  
The fish alien laughed “I wouldn’t of thought I would be”  
“I could honestly cuddle you all day”  
“What about during the nights?”  
“Oh I have other plans for the nights”  
Minion laughed, and picked him up, with his legs hanging around Minion’s body while they’re still sitting up.  
“You are such a flirt”  
Bernard gave a scandalised expression “I am not”. Minion laughed “it’s okay Bernie-Ernie I won’t tell anyone”. Bernard’s response is to put his lips on one of the mechanical hands, with a smile, while watching Minion, he bit down. His teeth hurt slightly but it’s worth it. 

Minion surprised the other by giving a little moan. Bernard gave a wicked smile, moving his lips to the other hand, and doing the same. After another embarrassing moan, he grabbed the other’s butt and squeezes.

Bernard’s breathing pretty heavily, and something in Minion changes. Suddenly, sitting there with this handsome man on his bed, he has to have him. Needs to feel every part of him. 

One hand massages Bernard’s butt, while the other goes straight to the growing erection. Bernard moans as Minion forms a rhythm. He can’t take it anymore, he needs to let himself out.  
“Bernard”  
“Yes?”  
“I need to-“  
“What is it?” Bernard opens his eyes and looks at him with concern in his eyes.  
“I need to let myself out. I need you. Now. Please”

“Is it this button here?” Minion nodded his whole fish body. Bernard pressed the button, then a small gasp escapes his lips, as he sees all of Minion for the first time.

There’s a grey penis first, equipped with balls as well, and a vagina behind it. Both look exactly like a human’s would.

“Amazing” Bernard said quietly  
“Thanks, I-uh built it myself”  
Bernard laughed, while bringing his face to the tank to give a kiss.

Bernard’s hand went to the penis first, rubbing up and down. Hearing Minion’s moans is encouraging him to go faster. His other hand goes behind, to the clit first, rubbing circles. When he’s felt like he’s teased him enough, his fingers enter him. Oh he’s so wet!  
“Minion. You feel so good”  
The fish alien moaned.  
“How long do you have to wait to go again after you finish?”  
“I can have multiple orgasms”  
“Oh I’m so glad to hear that”  
“But I struggle to finish most of the time”  
Bernard kissed his shoulder “I’ll help with that. I want you to come, with me doing this to you, that okay?”  
“Yes. Oh-“  
Bernard smiled  
“That feels. Oh.”  
Bernard kissed him, then went faster in the spot that’s making Minion moan louder.  
He kissed the tank. “Come for me Minion”  
“I don’t know if I can”  
Bernard went faster and deeper with his fingers. He put his mouth on the mechanical hand and bit down. He can tell Minion’s close. He did it to the other hand. Minion’s whole body shook as he came. The water in his tank turned murky.  
“I knew you could do it”  
“That was really good.”

Minion laid down, bringing Bernard with him. He can’t believe they did that while still sitting up. It was hot though, having Bernard so close to him, sitting between his legs. He had such a curious look on him when he pressed the button to see him for the first time. Then there was the determination in him, to make sure Minion came. That was- wow. 

Bernard moved his face, so his chin is resting on Minion’s chest, with his eyes locked on him. His eyelids close in a slow blink. Oh he hopes the other isn’t tired. He still has a lot planned for this beautiful man laying on him. But where to begin?

Minion gave a cheeky, and hopefully a little seductive, smile when he asked “So what are some of your plans for the nights?”


	9. Chapter 9

Bernard opened his eyes and gave an I’m thinking expression. His beautiful brown eyes look so happy. Does he even realise how gorgeous he is? Especially while laying on Minion, looking so content and relaxed. Minion will do anything to have this moment last forever.

“Hmm... there are a lot of plans in my head, but one does stand out right now”

Minion’s heart skipped a beat when he asked “really? What is that?”  


“Taste you”

The sound of a bubble forming from Minion’s mouth, and rising to the surface made Bernard laugh. Minion’s mouth is wide open before he responds “y-you don’t have to do that”

Bernard came up to face Minion “do you want me to?”  
“Only if you want to?”  
Bernard laughed again “of course I want to! It’s all I can think about. Do me a favour though? Don’t hold back. I want you to enjoy this.”

Before Minion could respond, Bernard started to rub him slowly. He wasted no time in grabbing Minion, who is now fully erect, and sliding him in his mouth. It tastes like metal but something else. Like hand cream? But also there’s something sweet there. This is definitely a first for Bernard. But then he’s never been with an alien with a mechanical body either. Minion’s making the most wonderful sounds. Bernard can tell he’s already getting close, so not wanting to waste time, he started to lick his clit, then the inside of Minion’s vagina. Which tastes more sweeter but with only hints of the hand cream. Bernard tried not to smile as he thought, what have you been up to Minion? Oh he’s going to have to ask to watch next time. Is that weird? He’ll just have to see if his crush is into any of that. 

Crush? Can you believe that. He’s gone so long, without so much as talking to anyone, and now he has a full blown, infuriating crush! But Minion did say that he likes him back, right? And he did stop him from leaving. What did he do to deserve someone like Minion? He still can’t get his head around all of it. But Minion’s orgasm is going strong right now, and Bernard is very hard, so right now is not the time to be thinking about all of that.

Minion put his hands over his tank. He just finished his second (but Bernard’s making sure it’s not his last for the night) orgasm. “I was so loud”

Bernard laughed and came up for a kiss “don’t worry, there’s no one around. And I told you not to hold back. Also you’re cute when you’re embarrassed” Bernard moved Minion’s hands away from his tank.

“So what have you been up to? My beautiful fish alien?” Bernard asked with a big grin.

“What do you mean?” Minion asked with his heart going out of control, because beautiful? And my?

Bernard has such a cute, cheeky smile when he informs him of how he tasted. Minion’s hands went to his tank again. Oh no! Of course he’d be able to taste it. He should of just waited. It’s just Bernard said he was going to take a shower, and well, his imagination got the better of him. Luckily the hand cream is non-toxic.

Minion peaked through his hands “how have you not gone running?”

Bernard put his head to the side, as if he couldn’t understand the question. Then laughed “because of the hand cream?”. Minion nodded. “Oh no. I’m only upset I missed it.”

Minion gave a little laugh in relief and moved his arms around Bernard. It feels so right, to have his arms around this man. His hands moved up and down the bare spine. “You can’t just say something like that and not expect me to want to do things to you” 

“Minion... you can do whatever you like to me, anytime and always” Bernard said in a serious tone.

“Always? Anytime? I like the sound of that” With the beautiful man on top of him, kissing his chest, Minion slowly moved to his bedside table. He pulled out a tube and looked at the other with a sheepish grin “uh- I want to... can I use this? On you?”

Bernard sees the bottle of lube that Minion’s holding. He wasn’t very specific with what exactly he wants to do, but he already knows the answer is yes. He meant what he said, whatever, whenever. So he gave the worried alien his answer, making him happily squirt the lube on his hand and finding Bernard’s dick. 

“Oh... wow that feels good. Minion. It’s never-oh... it never feels like this. You’re- ah- you’re so good with your hands.” Bernard remembers being next to Minion as he concentrates on what he’s making. His hands working with such care. He gave a little shiver as he’s looking into those lovely brown eyes, and realises Minion’s giving that same look right now. 

Instinctively Bernard moves closer to Minion. The alien rubbed himself on him, then guided Bernard inside of him. And just like that, he’s now completely inside the robotic vagina.

“Shit Minion. Is this okay?” Bernard panicked

Minion laughed and smiled fondly “Yes Bernard! You worry too much.” The brown haired man started to move.  
“This is more than okay. Fuck”

“If you keep swearing I’m not going to last more than 30 seconds”

Minion gave him a cheeky smile “Oh Bernard. Fuck. Keep doing that. That feels so fucking good”

Bernard couldn’t help the laugh coming out of him. He quickly put a hand on his mouth. Shit, is it weird to laugh during sex? It’s usually such a serious time. Minion put his hand on Bernard’s face, giving him a reassuring smile. Are his eyes always that happy? “You don’t play fair do you?”

“Nope!” Minion agreed enthusiastically with a huge grin on his face. Okay now he really isn’t going to last long. Must get fish alien to come first. He tried going faster, while rubbing Minion’s erection.

They both reached their orgasm, panting uncontrollably. “I hope it didn’t hurt too much, this being your first time and all?” Bernard asked.

Minion smiled at him. “Only a little bit. Mostly it just felt really good!”

“I’m so glad you enjoyed it” Bernard commented with a kiss.

“I think I enjoyed it a bit too much” Minion stated, gesturing to the murky water in his tank.

Bernard smiled and chuckled lightly “I can hardly see your beautiful face” 

Minion gave a disgust look. “What’s wrong?” Bernard asked.

“You don’t have to call me that”

“What? Beautiful?”

The fish alien nodded. “Minion, you already said you can tell when I’m lying. Why would I lie about this anyway?”

“Well we did just- you know- it’s sentimental and all. And maybe you’re just being nice.”

“Fuck being sentimental! Also, when am I ever nice?”

Minion finally smiled again. Bernard hugged him “you’re so silly, my beautiful Minion.”

Minion happily went to the bathroom to change the water in his tank. When he came back into the room, Bernard quickly got off the bed, running up to him for a hug. Minion lifted him up, while the brown haired man is kissing all over. 

“Miss me?” Minion asked smiling

“You were gone for too long” was his answer, even though he knows it wasn’t more than 5 minutes.

“Are you tired at all?” 

“Nah. I’m actually a little hungry”

“Surprisingly I am as well”

“That’s probably from the 3 orgasms” Bernard commented with amusement in his eyes, while the alien looked embarrassed. “Let’s go raid your fridge”

While still carrying Bernard, Minion moved him to his back, to give him a piggyback ride to the kitchen. Minion can already feel himself being attached to this man. They haven’t even properly known each other for that long, but he can already feel a space in his heart for this wonderful man. 

Bernard insisted on cooking something for him, so they decided on pancakes. “No one ever cooks for me” Minion revealed sadly. Bernard pulled his tank closer to him and kissed him open mouth on the tank. Leaving trail marks of saliva.

“I’ll be more than happy to cook for you my sweet Minion”. And how could Minion’s heart not flutter at that? How could he not be completely smitten with that wonderful smile? Fuck! He’s in trouble.


End file.
